There's a lot of transition going on in my life right now, and it's putting me in an "in between" place that can be hard to get out of. When in between, it can be hard to move from what's ending to something new. It's actually a bit of a frustrating space for me since I prefer to be "doing", but at the same time, I find it hard to kick myself into gear to actually DO anything.
It's annoying on so many levels.
Some of the transitions I'm dealing with right now are actually a bit more disruptive than usual. My son is done with school and now needs me to find ways other than TV to keep him occupied. This is tough on him because he liked school and it gave structure to his day, and if there's one thing I have difficulty with, it's structure. Yes, I have my to do lists, but I do whatever I want from those lists when I feel like doing them. This approach won't work so well with a kid who needs more guidance and oversight than a checklist provides. And it's tough on me because I no longer have the hours when he's gone to do whatever. I have to be aware of what he's doing and be ready to step in and nudge him to other activities. This isn't easy with a kid who has very few activities he likes.
Then there's the husband's new work schedule, which works for him, but has disrupted our cleaning routine. While that may sound a little silly, if there's one thing that works to get things done (from writing to cleaning), it's routine.
And seasonal changes are happening. The problem with this year's seasonal changes is that there was almost no transition from the really cold winter to the now really hot summer plus hurricane season is starting. Me and heat and humidity and storms do not get along. I've been having trouble with being sluggish and too hot to do anything...and we're just getting started.
As for the writing, it's suffering. With Tirs set aside for the moment, and A.C. not being published as originally planned (thus taking the pressure off to get Quest done), I'm looking at other projects. That leaves Shades, which is still giving me trouble on the ending, and Chosen. Now Chosen isn't so much being problem as...honestly, I don't know. I feel a bit disconnected. And the usual routines aren't helping. I've had this problem before, but not usually for as long as I've been dealing with it this time around. I suspect that the weather has been part of it, but I can't keep letting it get int he way. Once the storms start to hit, there will be down days because of the headaches, so I've got to get back to taking advantage of the good days as soon as I can.
And I'll freely admit, the waiting for word back on submissions isn't really helping. And maybe this is the biggest problem of all for me right now: I'm not feeling any motivation to do anything because I'm hitting a place where it's hard to be hopeful. This is when I should be working with new projects. The problem is my new projects, the stuff I like to read and write, isn't in the areas of fantasy that are being sold right now, so it's hard to be motivated to write anything. I will get out of this space, it's just harder to ignore when already in a slump elsewhere.
The space in between things isn't necessarily a bad place to be: we all need down time and transition time. I'm just not good at either one of those. It's actually irritating me that I can't seem to get out of this "slump." I know I will eventually, but right now I'm in that space where it irritates me that I can't get the brain and keyboard going, but apparently doesn't irritate me enough to give me a kick in the butt when it's my writing time. That in between space is a good time to recharge, I'm just not good at taking advantage of it.
With all the transitions going on at the moment, it's going to be an interesting summer. Writing will be a part of it, even if it continues to be in the little splats that it's become lately. It just would be nice if I could get back to the daily dose of writing that I was doing before the trouble with Tirs started.
And, yea, I'm going to blame the book.
Life & Writing